 |
Adjustment for Your Loved One
Over 1.5 million Americans live in nursing homes today. And this number is expected to grow, thanks to longer life spans and the aging of the baby boom generation. Some patients can and do recover from the ailments that bring them to a nursing care facility, but for many, the nursing home will be their final home. In fact, 1 out of 5 of all deaths in the U.S. occurs in nursing homes.
A move to a nursing home is often a troubling experience, marked by declining health, loss of independence and privacy, and surrender of home and possessions. Add to the picture some of the horror stories about abuse and neglect in nursing homes. It's no wonder that almost one-third of seriously ill patients say they would rather die than move to a nursing home, according to a recent survey.
Counting the Losses
After entering a nursing home, many elderly residents begin to experience symptoms of grief. Grief is the range of feelings (such as depression, anger and anxiety) that often accompany the loss of important people and possessions. Understanding these losses is the first step in finding ways to help your loved one adjust to life in a nursing home.
Following are some of the losses commonly faced by nursing home residents:
- Independence - People of all ages strive for and treasure independence. When age, illness or injury limit your loved one's ability to care for himself, the impact can be devastating.
- Self-esteem - Illness and the need to rely on others for simple needs such as bathing or eating can lead to a loss of self-esteem. If your loved one can't perform the activities that give her pleasure or a sense of accomplishment, she may question her own worth.
- Freedom - In a nursing home, freedom is limited by rules and the demands of community living. Your loved one may long for such simple freedoms as coming and going when he pleases or to listening to the radio as late and as loudly as he likes. Home and possessions - The nursing home may seem cold in contrast to the warmth and comfort of home and treasured belongings.
- Social contacts - Perhaps your loved one misses the activity of church or community involvement. Or friends and neighbors are unable or reluctant to visit in the nursing home, increasing the sense of loneliness for the patient.
- Personal physician - Over the years, your loved one has probably formed a strong bond with her doctor. Upon entering a nursing home, she will be cared for by one of the staff physicians. While she may be in good hands, the loss of this very special relationship should not be discounted.
How You Can Help
Time will help your loved one adjust to the new surroundings of the nursing home. In the meantime, here are some things you can do to help ease the transition.
- Stay positive. Remember that this move is intended make your loved one's life easier. Help him focus on the positive aspects of his new home.
- Encourage friends, neighbors and clergy to visit.
- Talk with the nursing home staff about bringing in a few of your loved one's favorite possessions. A comfy chair or pictures of the family can go a long way toward making the new setting into a "home."
- Read the nursing home's activity schedule, and encourage your loved one to take advantage of opportunities for recreation and socialization. If you think it will help, offer to attend an event with her.
- Talk to your loved one's physician or the nursing home staff if the adjustment to his new home appears to be particularly difficult for your loved one. They may have suggestions to help him work through his grief.
Resources
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/teleconference/ books/lwg2002/keay.asp
Fighting elder depression: a battle that can be won. Nursing Homes 51.6 (June 2002)
Help Me: Coping with the Nursing Home Decision
http://longtermcareliving.com/transition/almove/