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Making the Right Choice
Perhaps you've noticed that your mother just isn't as sharp as she used to be. Maybe she has trouble recalling names or remembering to take her medicine. If she's lost weight, you may be worried that she's not eating properly.
Or maybe your dad fell and suffered a broken hip. The doctors and hospital staff have taken good care of him, and now it's time for him to be released from the hospital. But he's going to need a higher level of care than your mother (or you) can provide for him at home.
These scenarios describe circumstances that may lead families to consider placing a loved one in a nursing home. In some cases, like Dad's broken hip, the need for nursing home care is suddenly thrust on a family. In other situations, such as Mother's failing memory, gradual changes take place over a prolonged period of time. Then one day, you realize the decision can't be avoided any longer.
Is a Nursing Home Right for Your Loved One?
Life in modern America is much different than it was 30 years ago. Back then, families tended to live in close proximity to one another, and ties to one's church or neighborhood formed a solid base of social support. Those supports often made it possible for families to care for their elderly loved ones at home.
Today, however, families may be spread across the country, and our lives aren't as community-centered as they once were. When an elderly loved one needs more care than a family can provide, family members may be forced to consider a nursing home.
Clearly, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to placing your loved one in a nursing home. There are, however, guidelines that can help you know when it's time. Essentially, there are two main reasons to consider placing a loved one in a nursing home, discussed below.
Difficulty with Activities of Daily Living
Inability to perform certain activities of daily living (ADLs) is the most common reason people live in a nursing home. Whether it's a result of serious injury or illness or part of the normal aging process, elderly people may lose mobility, become incontinent or experience vision or hearing loss.
If your loved needs assistance with
- abusive or violent behavior,
- acting inappropriately in public,
- refusing care or medicines,
- wandering, or
- carelessness or recklessness (leaving the stove on or the door unlocked, for example).
If your loved one is showing such behaviors, you might consider placement in the safe environment of a nursing home.
Whatever your circumstances, if you think it may be time to place your elderly loved one in a nursing home, the time to have the discussion is now. To begin, ask for the advice of your loved one's doctor or hospital social worker. Most communities also have a council on aging that can help you in making the right decision for your loved one and your family.
Resources
Help Me: Coping with the Nursing Home Decision
http://www.dsf.health.state.pa.us/health/cwp/view.asp? A=188&Q=235014
http://www.healthinaging.org/AGINGINTHEKNOW/ chapters_ch_trial.asp?ch=15
http://www.healthinaging.org/public_education/ eldercare/26.xml#2